Taylor Swift is probably the most popular celebrity in the world. I dare you to find the image of the girl without makeup. In the past, I think you can never find her real face, even though she has occasionally shaken off a light, makeup-free look. Heck, she wouldn’t even leave the gym without her signature black eyeliner and red lipstick. Some commitment to the perfection she got right there.
And then, on the other hand, you have me. I can better describe my signature look as “I woke up like this, it was so obvious”. I’m a lazy person working from home, and since the birth of my son, I’m less concerned about what people think of me (showing your vagina to a hospital room full of strangers can have that effect on a person). When I worked outside the home, I wore makeup every day, but for now, I only worry about it if I go to a party or family gathering. Basically, I wear it anytime my picture is taken.
What this means is that I have forgotten what it felt like to be in one of the normal settings. No one at the gas station hit me, which is awesome, but it’s a slippery slope from lazy Sunday to cat girl. Will being flawless like Taylor for a week change my view of makeup?
For a week, I was completely watching Taylor. Call me a Swifi because I was down for it: red lips, hair, cat eye. No eyelids will be opened. No pound was tested. As a donkey girl who is older than Taylor (not to mention how much!), How do I feel about my early 20s looks?
gave it a week and this is what I learned.
First day: Well, this is different
I started my test one Saturday. I picked up some liquid eyeliner at Target the day before and was disappointed when I opened it, finding that it looked more like a long, waterproof brush, nail polish, rather than a marker-style tip. If I can’t put my hand evenly on my cheek, how on earth can I draw my wings with eyeliner? It took 20 minutes, two tissues and seven cotton cloths to get this “Oct, well, whatever” look.
met friends at a dive-y Chinese restaurant for karaoke and found it was the perfect place to start as it was dimly lit and I had already planned to humiliate myself in front of strangers. No one said anything about my face. I have never had any lipstick before and I have not touched liquid liner since I was 16 years old. When I wear makeup, it’s eye shadow and a lot – nothing else.
Why did no one say anything? Did they really notice a difference? Is makeup impossible? Or do they just not want to embarrass me by mentioning it, or are they forced to lie? I finally broke up and two friends (one male, one female) interrupted the conversation in the middle. “Sorry, I have to explain myself,” I told them. I felt like I was so different, everyone else might have done it. Instead, they both said I was fine. I did not buy it. I felt like I was wearing inappropriate Halloween costumes.
Day Two: This is a lot for Michael’s vision
Sunday is a day of rest. If you are Taylor Swift, that means baking cookies with Carly Close. If you are me, that means running errors when listening to NPR quiz shows on the radio. This is my least beautiful day of the week, where I even avoid showering if I don’t actively smell, because who wears on Sundays? But I wondered: What would Taylor’s face look like if combined with my muddy muck and hoodie?
There was only one way to find out.
I was already getting the hang of the eyeliner and this time I only used two cotton cloths to wipe my mistakes. (Score!) I felt weird together. My hair and clothes were their usual weekend way — very casual, but as my face was painted, it felt like it was centered on everything else. Well done, lazy lady! Michael’s lady was very friendly, but I don’t know if I looked luxurious, or if the art and craft store staff could be like that.
Day Three: Changing It
I didn’t feel like myself, I didn’t like it. The eyelid had no space on my face so it was like looking at a stranger in the mirror. I decided to try another Taylor look. I thought adding some eye shadow would make the eyeliner look less, but in the zebra it felt like it came out like it fell on my face at first. It was quite dramatic for the elementary school takeaway.
After picking up my son, we stood near the grocery store to grab two items and headed towards self-verification, as I always do, I am anti-social. An employee approached me and, on self-verification, offered to scan my items. What? Did it seem too important for me to scan my own cheese? I go to this store several times a week (because I’m a terrible planner) and this has never happened before. I felt like makeup was making me more “visible”.
As soon as I paid, he offered to bring my bag for me in the car. This is not one of those high-end grocery stores either. It’s a bag. He clearly thought I was Taylor himself, wearing a wig and for some reason found a random first-grader around suburban Massachusetts. Is this the life of a celebrity? Does anyone ever let Taylor live?
Day Four: Let’s review it
Even though we were on the fourth day and half of this week’s activities I was halfway through, I wanted to work out some eye shadow on the look. In general, if I have a drop of makeup, it will be shady, and holding the transparent eyelids does not feel right. So I touched on blue, a shade I don’t normally wear. A touch! Low shade is definitely important!
After adding the blue, I looked like the untitled cast member # 4 in the 80s movie. For unknown reasons, I begin to think that this look may not work for me. Facial structure? Lack of fame? Who knows! Taylor is wearing the same bad thing, she is sexy. This is not fair.
Day 5: Back to the basics
finally accepted that the shadow didn’t work and went for the blank eyelids. I just got rid of the liner malfunction and finally the daily makeup started to feel “normal” to me. I started to feel like the whole face of makeup was drawing attention to my unfinished hair.
Should I start doing my hair every morning? It already takes me an extra 10-20 minutes each day, which is a great time to spend sleeping or staring at my phone. Taylor, what more do you want from me? I can’t appoint a glam team. I hope Taylor has a glam team. I can’t imagine having the time to write and post songs on Instagram.
Day Six: I have lipstick on my burrito
My burrito has lipstick, you. Lipstick in my modest burrito. Should I eat this portion? Throw it away? This is disgusting! How do lipstick people even live? I can’t wait to stop wearing lipstick. It feels bulky, it gets it all, I swear it really dries my lips. It feels like my lips are small and my teeth are yellow, but it could be a red lipstick problem.
Day 7: Turn it on and let the “bad blood” go completely
like a big result, so I decided to go for bananas for the last day of this experiment. I walked out of the bathroom and saw my husband looking at me like he was wearing a dead crow hat. My mother-in-law mentioned that the liner went “all the way” to babysit my son (she didn’t have much for makeup). I was glad it was the last day.
I have to say I almost liked this look. This sounds better to me than the others. My eyelids were so beautifully covered, it was my style, and when I darkened the lipstick by mixing in some black eye shadow, I felt like I knew the color well. We went to see a couple who are friends and our friend’s husband really complimented my eyeliner. I explained what I was doing and he thought it was weird that I was wearing lipstick. I can really consider doing this again if I have a suitable place to wear it. A concert, maybe?
Is Taylor Swift’s makeup regular?
What did I learn by channeling day-to-day for a week? That woman is very assertive. Consider how many times she leaves butter or something and wipes the door with a naked face. Nor has she ever had a naked face. Before making coffee or urinating or checking her phone, the first thing she does in the morning is do her makeup. But she wants to be like that. Any “off” moment she has will be documented by the paparazzi, which made me eternally grateful that my son is the only person who chases me all day, just because he wants a snack.
For me, I like the invisibility that a blank face gives me. With makeup, I got more attention, so I wasn’t exactly happy. Some people like to buy their groceries at a cashier, I do it myself and avoid unnecessary contact with strangers. Little talk is not my thing, I feel “served” differently, this is what I felt when we were in public, shaking my best red lip. Reflecting on Taylor’s makeup routine didn’t make me a superstar, but it shows how easily I take on my monk’s lifestyle.
Also, the liquid eyeliner is hard, the lipstick is bulky, and should prevent anything that threatens the burritos. I’m glad I’m not a pop star.